Tips For How To Love Yourself

Learning to love yourself isn't easy -- especially if you're a survivor of childhood abuse or neglect. But there
are things you can do to boost your self-love.

Ask for a list of things people like about you.

Sometimes it can be hard to find things we like or love about ourselves. So -- ask other people to tell you all
the things they like about you. Ask a friend, a lover, a therapist. This isn't a replacement for your own love;
it's a first step in learning to love yourself. You may need to hear the things other people like about you
before you can value them in yourself.
If hearing what people like about you is hard, ask your friends to write it down for you, or leave it on your
voice mail, so you can read/listen to it over and over. Go back to it as many times as you can. Even if you
don't believe that someone can like a particular thing about you, or you don't believe it exists, trust that your
friend does see it and value it.
When you start to hear critical voices inside your head, go back to those things your friend said/wrote about you, and remember that you are loved.

Make a list of the things you like about yourself.

Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Be as honest as you can. Modesty doesn't help you
here; neither do old critical messages. If you're having trouble finding things you value about yourself, think
about the things you value and love in your friends, then see if those things exist inside you, too. Most
often, they do.
Fill a special notebook with your list, or create a set of cards. Make the notebook as beautiful as you can --
make it something that makes you feel good when you look at it. Then open it up and look at it any time
you're feeling down or critical about...